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I finished my LAST final exam for this semester around 4 hours ago!! I’m giving myself a completely undeserved break right now because I only have a paper and a poster left. I don’t deserve a break because I’ve procrastinated until the last minute (quite literally) to study for my previous two final exams. I’ve given myself to many breaks! But I’m taking another one now anyway. HAHAHA.

After attempting to cram a semester’s worth of knowledge into a night for both of my last final exams, my advice for myself and for anyone who’s still in college, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL, SAVE YOURSELF FROM THE HORRORS OF FINAL EXAMS! If it’s possible to be exempted from taking the finals, aim for that! Because it will ALWAYS be worth it! And if it isn’t possible, PLEASE STUDY WEEKS BEFORE THE ACTUAL EXAM. Temporary pleasure will NEVER be worth the information overload and possible breakdowns in the near future.

Aside from that, it has been especially challenging these past few weeks because of how incompetent I am as a person. It’s not always easy to admit that and I’ve caused a lot of people inconvenience by being such a nuisance, but admitting and accepting that I have a problem is the first step towards progress. Although I fluctuate every now and then, I’m trying to improve and, by God’s graces, mercy, and guidance, I can become a better version of myself.

On a more positive note, whenever I type my new site URL, I feel kinda happy because it’s still low-key and I can still write about most things I feel like writing about. Technically, I haven’t explicitly written about it, but I’d say I’m almost done with “the process”! It’s been a long time since I’ve written about that particular person and I AM NOT going to start again now (this doesn’t count!). Actually it’s just me, my ~feelings~, and

Moving on!

Can I just say how wonderful “Kung Di Rin Lang Ikaw” by December Avenue and Moira Dela Torre and “Sa Ngalan ng Pag-ibig” by December Avenue is?? It’s kind of heartbreaking but at the same time it’s so nice?? It’s also not just for people with crushes. Exhibit A – me!

It’s probably one of the songs that I enjoy listening to as a hopeless romantic HAHAHA. Hopefully, they’d inspire me enough so that I’d be able to write a short story soon. My Wattpad account is DYING.

LASTLY, I’ve been hooked again by HIMYM! It’s been YEARS since I last watched the last season, but I saw this video in Youtube and I DIED. Well, not literally, but you get the point.

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

I watched it during a study break and I teared up at a particular part. You’ll find out if and when you watch it!

 

AND OH MY GODS! I GOT 72% IN THE FINAL EXAM I TOOK A WHILE AGO AND I MORE THANPASSED THE CLASS! THANK YOU, LORD! YOU ARE THE BEST!!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. 143

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It’s the middle of the second to the last hell week this semester and I only have one more exam to take and two more papers to finish to successfully get through the week. Monday and Tuesday were really stressful, but today and tomorrow are supposedly relatively chill days, so I’ve got to make the most out of it. I don’t want to end up regretting the night before Friday (which is tomorrow night!) because I didn’t study for the Psychology exam the next day. As long as I don’t sleep or procrastinate tonight and tomorrow, I should be fine.

I’ve been feeling a lot better today. I’ve been missing a lot of people the past couple of days – people who I haven’t spent time with during the previous weeks and people whom I need to make it up to BIG TIME. And I got to see both groups of people today and both encounters really reassured me that my life (and I am) not as worthless as I sometimes think I am . I guess it’s a reminder that God won’t ever leave me nor forsake me. I’m really blessed with the most awesome people in my life and these challenges will only help me grow as a person. God is faithful ALWAYS.

I’m liking this “under the radar” thing in my blog HAHAHA. I don’t know how long I’d keep it up, but I feel that I’m able to express my thoughts and feelings again. Probably because I’m less worried about the possibility that a certain group of people would be reading my posts. I will most likely add it to my Twitter bio and connect it again to my Twitter account when I’ve completed “the process”.

Speaking of “the process”, I’d say that I’ve made a good amount of progress recently. I’m trying to implement this habit – whenever I think of THAT certain topic, I’d think of words that could make the acronym “N. O. P. E.”. I’ve come up with pretty interesting things and it’s been working for me so far.

Among the interesting ones are the following:

  • Newton Observes Peanuts Everyday
  • Now, Ophelia Ponders Existence
  • Nine Overseas Penguins Escaped

I just really wish I’d finish “the process” as soon as possible and I think I will. At least one huge hurdle will come up probably within the next ~2 weeks and I’m pretty confident that I’ll get to jump through it. I’m writing the last pages of this chapter in my life and, though it will always be a chapter that I will remember fondly, I feel the need for a new one (that’s hopefully better written). There have been chapters before this one and, I’m sure, there will be A LOT MORE after this one. God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect.

That’s all for now! I HAVE two papers to finish and an exam to study for by Friday morning.  I hope you all have a great day! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

 

Two Weeks to Go!!

Two weeks to go before the end of my first semester as a fourth year college student! As you can probably read from my previous posts, I’ve been feeling sad a lot more than I usually do, but my family and a few close friends help me get through it. Although 2018 hasn’t been the year that I had hoped it would be and another new year is almost coming up, there were a few parts of the year, here and there, that I would like to keep with me until I die.

Today has been kind of a “break day” for me, but I should probably start being productive tonight. I have my (hopefully) last Statics exam on Monday, a Stochastic Processes exam on Tuesday, then a Psychology exam on Friday (which I hope would be moved because we’re quite behind in our schedule). THEN I have ~3 more exams next next week. I also have papers to submit and presentations to present, but AFTER THAT, I’m officially FINALLY done with the semester!

I’m feeling quite optimistic about these two weeks. Yes, given that I haven’t been feeling as okay as I usually am this semester, it’s pretty nice to be feeling this way right now. I have to do REALLY WELL to be able to, at least, get a “100% units passed” this semester and I KNOW, with God’s guidance, mercy, and grace, I CAN DO IT!

I still think about what I think is my biggest what-if in my life, so far, but I don’t want to feel sad or regretful about it anymore, especially since there’s nothing I can do about it. I made those decisions in the past and, while those weren’t actually “bad decisions”, I would DEFINITELY go back and do things differently, given the chance. I should’ve given it more thought, more time. ANYWAY, if I COULD go back in time and fix things and I could only choose between that and my third long exam in Stochastic Processes, I’d 100% go back to the latter and NOT FAIL THE EXAM ARGH. BUT I CAN’T, so I’ll just have to live with the choices I made in BOTH CASES and make the most out of my current situation to learn and become a better version of myself.

I think I’m making progress in “the process” (which is the term that I will be using from now on just because the alternative doesn’t make much sense in my case). I plan on following the tips I’ve found on the internet, but one last time probably wouldn’t hurt, right? It’s almost Christmas after all and I don’t plan on formally asking.

I should really start being productive tonight, so I can finish studying by Monday morning. I need to get a high score to get exempted from the finals and that would be the most awesome thing! Hope you’re all doing great! I know there are times when it’s really difficult to stay positive and finding things to make you happy, but please do hold on because God has wonderful plans for your future and you are beautiful and amazing and the world is so much better with you in it!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. FINALS.

Resulta ng larawan para sa finals motivation gif

Resulta ng larawan para sa finals motivation gif

Resulta ng larawan para sa finals motivation gif

Resulta ng larawan para sa cute motivational finals gif

Under the Radar

Some of you might be wondering why I changed the site address and I’ve already wrote in my previous post that it “is something I need to do for myself”. Let me elaborate a little: It’s something I needed to do for myself because I felt that I held myself back, to some degree, in writing. Of course, it’s been years since I felt the need to not let people know about my blog (high school days, I think haha) and there’s really nothing wrong with them knowing. But there’s a particular group of people whose knowledge of my blog kind of hinders me writing about certain things. I just want to move on and feel like myself again and I feel that keeping this blog “under the radar” is a step towards that direction.

What can you expect from “The Girl with The Pen” in the future? Well, my life isn’t automatically going to get better and I can’t promise that I’ll be writing a lot more in the coming weeks, BUT I do hope that this blog would feel like a “home blog” again.

I know this process is going to be difficult, especially since it’s almost finals week and I’m still stumped with this issue, as of writing, but I’ll be okay. I’ve been looking up sites that might help and there’s this one that really accurate to the point where I could’ve written it (if I was any good as a writer hahaha). It isn’t something I should’ve held onto for this long, but I did, and, now, I’m letting go.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

Resulta ng larawan para sa cute motivational gifs

 

New Site Address!!

For the longest time, this little blog of mine has had the same site address, but today I felt like finally changing it. YAY FOR THE NEW SITE ADDRESS!

I’m super sorry for the inconvenience that it might have caused you. If you read my posts often, I hope you don’t panic thinking I deleted everything because, let me tell you, this blog still means and will always mean a lot to me. I’m NEVER deleting it. Period.

I hope you easily find this new (and better) site address! Thank you all for supporting my blog and my writing endeavors! Have a great day!!

I’m keeping this new site address kinda low-key for those who know me personally, so I won’t be adding it to my Twitter bio anytime soon. Sorry, friends, but I think this is something I need to do for myself.

500

It has been a month and 13 days since my last post and, although I’ve been wanting to write here for a while now, whenever I’d try writing a new post, I’d suddenly lose the inspiration to write and end up browsing through my other tabs until I’d have to eventually turn my computer off. I’m slowly losing the will to finish this post, as I write, but I want to finish this post decently. It’s going to be my 500th post in this blog (YAY HAPPY 500TH POST!!!) and past me would probably badly injure me if she found out that I wrote something less than decent for such a milestone.

Honestly, I’m not feeling so well right now. I’m unsure if it’s because of the weather (it’s raining and I haven’t seen the sun for the ENTIRE DAY!), hunger (I’ve barely eaten anything.. due to budget and needing to lose A LOT OF weight), unnecessary feelings, or all of the above. Actually, thinking about it, I’m actually not sure if I’ve been feeling generally okay these couple of days. I don’t understand it either.

This isn’t doing so well for a 500th post and it’s probably because I’m not doing so well either. I miss writing. I miss this blog. I miss a lot of things I can no longer have, people whose lives I can’t be part of anymore, and memories it’d be impossible for me to relive. I’ll just try harder to write decently for my 550th or 600th post. I’m sure there’d be one, but I don’t really know in how many years that would be.

At the moment, I just really want to eat a tub of my favorite ice cream, binge watch some of the cheesiest romantic comedies, probably cry a bit (I actually don’t know if I’d cry or I just feel like crying), then move on with my life. It’s kinda weird feeling this way when, logically, I’m supposed to feel okay or, at least, effectively stressed out about important things (i.e. FINALS).

I really have to get my life together, even just for a little while, to survive this semester. I definitely cannot afford to fail another class. And I won’t.

There’s a lot of things I want to do in this life and I know that God has a wonderful future planned ahead of me. I may not see it right now and there may be things that don’t really make sense, but in God’s time, everything will be great.

But for now, I just kind of want this raining to stop and I want to be sad now and to get over it as soon as possible because I don’t like feeling this way.

Again, HAPPY 500TH POST! I’m sure I’ll be okay soon. Sorry for the negative vibes you were exposed to in this post. I just needed to let it out somehow. I hope you have a great day though.

AH for a positive note in this rather awfully written rant post, I passed the Psychology exam I barely (20% AT THE MOST!) studied for with a score of 66%!

Another sad note, though, is that I failed my stochastic processes exam because I chose not to write my computations and answer that I got from my hunches.

It’s sad again and I’m feeling hungry. SO MAYBE THIS IS JUST MY HUNGER SPEAKING. I don’t know what to eat tho. Eh.

What a post haha. Well let’s all hope my next post would be 200 times more decent than this one.

giphygiphy (1)600820c302000e35b171af5f99a7a71d48Nl7a8f09f88599870cb32125b2c2026408

I hope I balanced out this post to some degree.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 046: Sunny Days & Rainy Nights

It’s been really sunny lately. Well, sunny during daytime, but it’d rain really hard during the night. I’ve been doing better these past couple of weeks. September came by really fast and it’s the second week of October already.

I’m happy to announce that I passed most of the first exams I’ve taken so far. The psychology exam I took last last Friday hasn’t been returned and I have yet to take my midterm in my accounting class. Although the scores I got aren’t really that high, I’m very much content with them.

I took two second long exams last week and, through God’s graces and mercy, I really hope I pass both of them. I’ve only successfully crammed weeks worth of knowledge into one night and did exceptionally well in the exam a few times and, honestly, I don’t remember anything about that class anymore and it’s only been a year. Sadly, I don’t think I retained any of the information enough to last a month.

That being said, it is NEVER a good idea to cram that much knowledge into ONE NIGHT. I know it’s difficult and, often times, we’d rather binge watch or hang out with friends during our “chill weeks”, but it’s ALWAYS better to study gradually everyday. I haven’t actually done it yet, but I’d imagine it’d make our “hell weeks” less hectic.

I have a quiz tomorrow, a long exam the day after tomorrow, and a midterm exam next Sunday. I haven’t actually studied for any of them yet, but there’s still time and as long as I don’t procrastinate this week, including today, I’ll be fine.

I really really hope that I get my life together, at least enough to pass all my classes this semester. I’m a work-in-progress and, as long as I keep trying, doing my best, and trusting God, I know I can do it.

On that note, I’d like to share one of my favorite worship songs. Honestly, there were times during this semester when I felt helpless and really lost, but each day is a testament of God’s love for me. I’m very thankful for everything and everyone He has blessed me with.

(I don’t really know why I felt like writing and maybe this wasn’t really value-adding to you, as readers, but I just needed to write and remind myself not to cram everything in one night.

And I hope I can share God’s love and word with others with enthusiasm and passion. Also, let’s all hope I can write a post a bit more decent than this one haha.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Resulta ng larawan para sa today is the day the lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it

Resulta ng larawan para sa october gif